Monday, March 8, 2010

Medical Notes

My liver is fine, but my liver humor is sickly. I am stooping to borrowing from others. The following medical notes are true. Although they are funny, it is somewhat frightening if you think about it, so DON"T think about it. These are from a column written by Richard Lederer, Ph.D. for the Journal of Court Reporting and have been reprinted at several Internet sites and magazines.

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.
I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
The patient refused an autopsy.
The patient has no past history of suicides.
The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

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