Saint Liver Day

I've been thinking about St. Patrick's Day. I think we need to honor the liver in a significant way. The liver doesn't need its own day - it could share St. Paddy's day. The liver symbol would be a good substitute for the shamrock. Bile is green and the liver certainly bestows more life than a shamrock. It would be very bad luck not to have a liver. Granted, it would be a more sober celebration. You can't very well honor the liver by drinking green beer. And corned beef and cabbage would be replaced by liver and onions. However, we could still wear green and say clever things, like O'bile and O'gall. Candy manufacturers could feature jelly beans in an array of colors from bright red to maroon. Bag pipe music would be perfect, since the bag pipe looks kind of like a liver. Instead of "When Irish Eyes are Smiling" we could sing "When Irish Livers are Metabolizing."