Medical Humor to Tickle the Liver

The following entries appeared in Rockingham Hospital medical records. Although these are funny, if you think about it, it’s horrifying. The first one is liver-related.

• The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
• Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful. 
• Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch
• She is numb from her toes down.
• While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
• The skin was moist and dry.
• Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
• Patient was alert and unresponsive.
• Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
• She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
• I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
• Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
• The patient refused autopsy.
• Skin: somewhat pale but present.
• Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
• Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.