Summer Reading for those with Hepatitis C

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There are quite a few books about hepatitis C, but none for pleasure reading. Here are some books on my summer reading list, especially designed for the hepatitis C patient. I call this genre, liverature.

• A Liver Grows in Brooklyn
• The Gall of the Wild
• Gone with the Liver
• Deliverance
• The World According to Gall
• Heplet

More Hepatitis C Drug Names

Last week’s post generated more potential names for hepatitis C drugs. Thank you readers, especially to my dragon slaying partner and favorite nurse, GM.

Dead C (my favorite)

CeCleared

Cesponder

Hepinpast

C-Funeral

C-You-Later

Lost at C

Naming Hepatitis C Drugs

I have a fairly good memory for remembering the names of drugs. The hepatitis C drugs have been easy, because there are basically 4 generic names: peginterferon, ribavirin, boceprevir, and telaprevir. However, my foggy brain is trying to figure out how to remember the names of the drugs that are in clinical trials. They all end in “vir.” Here are some examples:

• simeprevir
• faldaprevir  
• sofosbuvir
• ledipasvir
• daclatasvir 
• samatasvir
• asunaprevir 

These are just a few. Then there are drugs with numbers, and combinations of drugs, such as medivir (combined simeprevir and samatasvir ). So, I propose that we make things easier for our hepatitis C brains by coming up with memorable names. Here are suggestions:

• HepC Killer
• HepC-B-Gone
• Sayonara HepC
• HepC Relief
• ByeBye HepC
• Liver Renew
• Dynomite HepC

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What are your suggestions?

Medical Humor to Tickle the Liver

The following entries appeared in Rockingham Hospital medical records. Although these are funny, if you think about it, it’s horrifying. The first one is liver-related.

• The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
• Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful. 
• Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch
• She is numb from her toes down.
• While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
• The skin was moist and dry.
• Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
• Patient was alert and unresponsive.
• Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
• She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
• I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
• Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
• The patient refused autopsy.
• Skin: somewhat pale but present.
• Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
• Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Ten Rules for Hepatitis C Treatment

I was moody and short-tempered during all three of my hepatitis C treatments. Here are my tongue-in-cheek rules for how to manage anger during while taking hepatitis C medications.

1. Set up a tent in your backyard, local park, or anywhere at least 300 yards away from you. Banish anyone who doesn’t agree with you to live there, until they admit that you are right. I call it a ribavirin hut. If I am mad, you go to the ribavirin hut. After all, I am the one suffering here, so why should I give up my comfortable bed?
2. Do not get a new computer or new operating system during this time. Avoid Window 8. Apple users—go ahead and feel smug and superior.
3. Never call customer service while on hepatitis C treatment. It won’t be pretty.
4. Keep hammers and other weapons a minimum of 50 feet from all computers, phones, and people.
5. Do not watch the news. Let’s face it, news is a downer.
6. Carry earplugs with you at all times to block out unwanted sounds, such as barking dogs, whining neighbors, and elevator music.
7. Do not sign any contracts while on hepatitis C treatment. 
8. If you are a gun owner, give your guns to a trusted friend until your treatment is over; someone who lives far away. I am serious about this.
9. Practice restraint of pen and tongue. Remember you still want to have friends when treatment is over.
10. Be prepared to apologize later. You may think your anger is justified, but unfortunately, you probably were in a state of altered consciousness, and perhaps over-reactive. Forgive yourself.  

    

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