Old Liver Syne

Should old liver cells be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should old liver cells be forgot,
and old liver syne ?

For auld liver syne, my dear,
for auld liver syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld liver syne.

Wishing You a Happy, Healthy and Humorous New Year

Cirrhotic Carols

Image courtesy of CD In Natale / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It is so political incorrect to poke fun of Christmas, a holiday so near and dear to me that I think I can be politically incorrect. Besides, now that I have shown that I am completely irreverent to hepatitis C, why not take on Christmas?

I love Christmas carols, so here is my line-up of liver-friendly carols to soothe the liver:

• Cirrhosis is Coming to Town
• Duct the Bile
• Hark the Hepatic Angels Sing
• I Saw Mommy Kissing the Hepatologist
• Jingle Galls
• Jaundice the Snowman
• Let It Flow
• Liver Bells
• Oh Little Town of Hepatocyte
• Rockin' Around Hepatitis C
• Silent Organ
• We Wish You a Merry Liver
• Yellow Christmas

And with that, I wish you all a truly merry, merry, whatever seasonal holiday you choose or choose not to celebrate.

Holiday Humor to Get the Bile Flowing

I did not write the following joke, and although it has nothing to do with the liver, it is funny and perfect for this time of year.

 Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

A group of chess enthusiasts (one or more of whom may have hepatitis C) have  checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager (who is a Baby Boomer so he needs to get a hepatitis C test) came out of the office and asked them to disperse. But why? they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer. 

The Secret to Healthy Living with Hepatitis C

I am surrounded by people who have hepatitis C. Many of them live with relentless pain, fatigue, and other discomforts. I seem to be doing better than most of the hepatitis C-positive people I meet, and I always wondered why. Then I discovered research that may shed light on a possible reason—cussing. Yes, unleashing those 4-letter words may have health benefits.

A study published in August 2009 NeuroReport found that swearing increases pain tolerance. I am a champion curser. I know that this is not acceptable in polite circles, but when it comes to pain, I swear like a sailor. Now that I know that expletives may help me, I am not going to delete them.

It is curious that someone decided to study this. I can only imagine what the study design looked like. Picture being a subject in this study, and being told that you would be randomly assigned to one of 2 groups. Everyone would get his or her fingers hammered. The test group could say the “f-word.” The control group would have to say, “Ouch.” I’d be kicked out of the control group…

 "Old Hammer" image courtesy of Keerati / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

A New Catch Word

Do you remember that 1970’s sitcom, Good Times? (Stop here if you are too young to be a Baby Boomer – you will be completely lost by this post.) The most memorable character was JJ, played by Jimmie Walker. JJ was famous for his expression, “Dyno-MITE.”

I think it is time to resurrect that term, to raise awareness about the liver. Anybody for “Hepato-CYTE”?

Catchy, isn’t it? Try it out at your next party.