Medical Signs

A little medical humor for a change…

• Sign over a Hepatologist’s Office: “Livers Only”
• At a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
• In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."
• On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push."
• At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
• At a Proctologist's door: "To expedite your visit, please back in."
• In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
• In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

An Opinion Piece

The following is my opinion and although it is about humor, it is not funny.

A petition is circulating asking NBC and CBS to stop allowing the use of material that jokes about hepatitis C. The petition is moving, reasonable, and timely. I was going to sign it, in solidarity to those many people I care about who have died, or will die from this disease. I decided not to for the following reasons:

1. Although distasteful and insensitive, bad publicity is better than no publicity. Millions of people have hepatitis C and do not know it. Although a proper awareness campaign is needed, a few tasteless jokes might do more good than harm.
2. I believe that when we can laugh at our pain, healing begins. The problem here is that the writers for CBS and NBC are doing the laughing, but it is a start. Besides, I love a good hep C joke.
3. I am not a fan of censorship. I don’t want to sign a petition that tells people what they can and cannot say. Please don’t send a petition around asking me to stop my silly blog. We have off buttons so we can control what comes into our lives.

If you want to view or sign the petition, visit this link.

Making Lemonade Out of Lactulose

I wish I could write a funny song about having hepatitis C, but alas, I am no song-writer. However, singer, song-writer Brother Dan Palmer, a man on the liver transplant list, has injected his own brand of humor into a lousy situation. Dealing with hepatic encephalopathy, Brother Dan shows that this serious liver-related dementia doesn't need to be taken completely serious.

So pour yourself a shot of lactulose, sit back and listen to Brother Dan's music: Lactulose is My Friend While you are at it, listen to Dan's other songs. Thank you Brother Dan for allowing me to share this. 

The Language of the Liver

The word liver traces its origins to a number of languages, including Old English and German. It may mean to “fatten up.” This seems particularly apt, given the rise of fatty liver disease in the United States.

The liver produces bile, which is necessary for the digestion of fats. Bile passes through a duct system that rivals the Alaskan pipeline. Most of the bile pours into the small intestine, where it breaks down fat. Some bile is stored in the gall bladder.

The immune system depends on the liver. Drugs and alcohol are metabolized by the liver. The liver is an important player in the metabolism of carbohydrates, protein, and fats.

To “fatten up” just doesn’t do the liver justice. It seems to do a little of EVERYTHING.