Hepamonial Vows

This weekend is my husband and my 30^th wedding anniversary. This means that my liver cells survived the many glasses of wine through the courtship and honeymoon (pre-hep C). My marriage has survived hepatitis C and its treatment. The side effects of treatment were a huge challenge, and I suppose the fact that we are together provides testimony of our commitment. They ought to include a clause about hepatitis C treatment with the “in sickness and in health” vow, so people really know what they are getting into.

I can just see it after the attorneys get a hold of this idea—the hepamonial waiver.

Liver and Lymph

The liver produces approximately one quart of lymph fluid daily. That seems like a lot lymph fluid to me, although I can’t honestly say that I have any idea of what lymph fluid looks like. In fact, I don’t think I have ever given lymph fluid much thought, although it doesn’t surprise me that my liver makes it. I think the liver does just about everything, and it could probably make a smoothie and a soufflé if called upon.

Protecting the Liver

Football season officially began and I want to know if players are protecting their livers. We all know about cups to protect the delicate male anatomy, helmets for the heads, shoulder pads, and the like. What is protecting those livers? It is time for mandatory liver cups.

Next stop, pancreas protection.

The Liver Labor Union

It is Labor Day weekend, a time to honor the labor force in the U.S. What better way to celebrate than with a three-day weekend. Thinking about this holiday, I pondered over all the work the liver does. This three-pound organ is like a factory, powering the body and producing critical elements to keep us healthy. 

The liver can’t take the weekend off, because if it did, we’d be celebrating Labor Day from six feet underground. However, we can give the liver a break by keeping alcohol consumption to a level that the liver can handle. If you have hepatitis or another liver disease, this means no alcohol. Not much fun you say? Well cirrhosis isn’t exactly a picnic.

In honor of the labor the liver does, I propose we play some games. How about a rousing game of find-the-bile-duct, followed by three-livered races. We can end the evening with stargazing and hepatocyting. What a rousing end to summer! Now I can plan Halloween. Bobbing for gall bladders anyone?