A Merry Liver Christmas

Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, the Solstice, or New Year’s, remember this: your liver keeps you alive. Feed it good food and no alcohol. Give is a good night’s sleep, preferably without visions of sugar plums dancing in your head. Let your liver out to play by giving it lots of joy. Laughter is the best medicine, but if your liver is sick, take it to the doctor—laughter only goes so far.

Wishing you a healthy holiday.

Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

Here is what I want for Christmas:

A pain-free non-invasive replacement for liver biopsies that is 100% accurate that also performs liposuction at the same time.

A 100% effective and cheap treatment for hepatitis C that has only one side effect—making people smarter.

A cheap C vaccine.

A congress that works together and agrees that funding hepatitis C is a great idea.

A shiny new liver that is installable without surgery and comes with a lifetime guarantee.

An iPhone (I figure I will need something fun to play with after I am healthy.)

Merry Christmas from someone who isn’t always good, but tries to be.

Liver Boredom

The liver is one of the most incredible but truly boring organs to blog about. Other than jokes about drinking one’s liver to death, what can be said (and why that is funny, I don’t know). On the other hand, the kidneys are hysterical – pee jokes are endless, plus there is that whole European (you are a peein’) pun. The pancreas makes me laugh just saying it. And then there is the penis – now that is an organ which provides blog fodder. Ah, the poor liver, patiently regenerating, boring but reliable. It warms my hepatic vessels just to think about it.

Liverpool, England

The anniversary of the death of John Lennon makes me think about the Beatles. The Beatles makes me think about Liverpool, the city in London where the Beatles came from. This leads me to wonder if Liverpool is a good place to go for a liver transplant, since it must have a bigger pool of livers. Do I hear groaning?