Thursday, November 19, 2009

More Things We Don't Want to Hear

 I have witnessed many liver biopsies and they have all been uneventful. In most cases, the patients seemed completely relaxed. On one occasion, the patient said, "Let's get this over, doc," after it had already been done.

In spite of the fact that every liver biopsy I've seen has been smooth, I could not resist poking fun at it. Here are some more things we don't want to hear our doctors utter during a liver biopsy:
  • "Better save that. We might need it for the autopsy."
  • "Accept this sacrifice, Oh Great Satan."
  • "Oops. Who knew that the liver was on the right side!"
  • "There's a first time for everything."
  • "I wish I hadn't drank so much last night."
  • "Missed again."
  • "It looked so easy on the video."
  • "I'm not a real doctor. I just play one on TV."
  • "Shoot, I dropped the sample and have to do it again."
  • "I wish I had paid more attention in anatomy class."
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4 comments:

  1. CD MazoffNovember 19, 2009 at 7:19 PM

    Thanks Lucinda... I really enjoyed these

    CD

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousNovember 20, 2009 at 11:05 AM

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousNovember 20, 2009 at 3:57 PM

    This is a fantasy about justice from a reader.I am sure he's having a bit of fun...

    A perfect world would be for each virus that internet spammers send us, we would in turn get to send them one of ours.
    I bet you can C what mine would be, Hep C that is so come on spammers, Sit a while
    Take your liver out
    Ya’ll don’t die now ya’ hear
    Ye Haw from the Beverly Hepbilly’s

    ReplyDelete
  4. Butch HollandNovember 29, 2009 at 11:57 AM

    I am the Anonymous above and yes it was all in fun. The last bit was a spin on the Beverly Hillbilly's show were at the end of the show they said take your shoes off, sit a spell. Yawll come back now ya' here. Guess I am giving away my age now...ooops
    IT'S NOT A LIFE-IT'S AN ADVENTURE...
    ALL YA' GOTTA DO IS LIVE IT...
    It's just a bit harder with this wear and tear disease.
    Butchie

    ReplyDelete

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