Chopped Liver

Sam was on his death bed, and his wife and children were gathered around him. Suddenly the aroma of chopped liver filled the room.Sam perked up a bit and said to his wife, "That's it, one last time before I die I must have some of your delicious chopped liver." Sam's wife looked at him sadly and said, "Sorry Sam, it's for after."

Liver Joke

This joke is not politically correct or funny, but it does use the word liver...

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. 

The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return. Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them “The first one who can use the words “liver” and “cheese” together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me.” 

The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says “I love liver and cheese.” 

“Oh, how childish,” said the Poodle. “That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever.”

She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said “How well can you do?” “Ummmm…I HATE liver and cheese,” blurts the Golden Retriever. 

“My, my,” said the Poodle. “I guess it’s hopeless. That’s just as dumb as the Lab’s sentence.” 

She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, “How about you, little guy?” The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in finesse, is a little Chihuahua. He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says… 

“Liver alone. Cheese mine.”

Another lively story from the True Doctor Stories series:

During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. “Which one?” I asked. The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one. ~ Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA

More True Doctor Stories

Laughing out loud from this story from the True Doctor Stories series:

At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. “Big breaths,” I instructed. “Yes, they used to be,” remorsefully replied the patient. ~ Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA