My Favorite Organ

When I teach a class about hepatitis, I like to include basic information about the liver. I begin by saying, "Let's talk about my favorite organ-the penis-oops, no, I mean the liver. It usually gets a laugh. The truth is, the liver IS my favorite organ. It's the largest internal organ. The skin is the largest organ, but I don't see how it can compete with the elegance of the liver. On the other hand, you couldn't live without either and both regenerate. So, I'd have to say that skin is my second favorite organ.

Another thing I like about the liver is that it is about the size of a football. It makes me smile, imagining Peyton Manning throwing a pass with a plastic liver instead of a football. I wonder how aerodynamic a liver is.

On another note, a reader sent back a comment, but it was in kanji. Since I could not read it, I could not publish it. So readers, although I am delighted to have an international audience, please comment in English or Yiddish.

Laugh No Matter What

My 78 year-old mother has been ill for quite some time. Last month she was diagnosed with an aggressive form of leukemia.  She is too ill to pursue treatment, so the decision was made to pursue quality of life. She does not have much time. My sister-in-law and I looked on tearfully as the doctor told us the grave news. After the doctor left the room, my mother turned to us and said, "I just want to say the F-word." Now I know where I get my humor from.

My mother is far too proper to say the F-word. I said it for her. Besides, I think swearing is good for the liver.

Chopped Liver Humor

A fellow clown and delightful man in my life is C.D. Mazoff. He emailed me that he is writing a book called "The Joy of Oy: or, Why Retch when you can Kvetch"

Why get colitis when you can just pop a kishka instead?  Nous...... besides which my rabbi says it's not kosher to have milk of magnesia with corned beef!!!  If your skin is too porous, you don't have enough tsurus!!!... eat more tsimmes... that'll plug it up!

To those of you who don't get the cultural references, trust me, this is funny. I laughed so hard that I nearly choked on some kreplach. I wonder how many times the Heimlich is used for kreplach.

Thanks David!

Death By Laughter

Woody Allen said. I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.” I don’t mind the milk. I am afraid I’ll laugh so hard that I’ll snort out my brain or my liver.  Now that would be some serious laughing! It’s said that you can’t die from laughing, but what a way to go.

Laughter as Therapy

In order to retain their licenses, nurses have to take continuing education classes. Once I took a class titled, “Laugh! Jest for the Health of it: Therapeutic Benefits of Humor. I actually got credit for this hysterical class. It was taught by a nurse who was a certified clown. Here is one of the quotes from her handouts: "The arrival of a good clown exercises a more beneficial influence on the health of a town than twenty asses laden with drugs.” - Thomas Sydenham, philosopher from the Middle Ages.

An ass laden with drugs – that’s what I was when I was on hep C treatment. Perhaps I should have tried some clowning around first?

Got Liver?

“Good Taste is the enemy of comedy.” – Mel Brooks

Someone gave me a t-shirt that says Got Liver?. I kid you not. At first I was amused, but then I started to think about this. Imagine an magazine ad featuring David Crosby or some other famous liver transplant recipient,  holding an onion, with the caption “Got Liver?” Works for me.

Liver Limericks

Given the paucity of liver jokes, I am stooping to writing liver limericks. Here's one to make you groan:

There once was a man with hep C
who overly liked his whiskey
but one day his liver
started to quiver
and now the man favors green tea

Anyone want to give it a try (writing limericks, I mean-not at drinking whiskey)?