Merriam Webster Goes Viral

Merriam Webster added new words to its 2012 dictionary, such as earworm (“a song or melody that keeps repeating in one's mind”), sexting (“the sending of sexually explicit messages or images by cell phone”), and f-bomb (“a lighthearted and printable euphemism”).

After viewing the list, I looked up one of the most common maladies that those with hepatitis C complain of—brain fog. Although not official, it was listed on Merriam Webster’s slang submission webpage, sandwiched between brain fart and brain freeze.

• “brain fog (noun) : the state of having fog in your brain that prevents clarity of thought or expression; pertaining to neurological and/or cognitive processes..” submitted by DeLinda Fink, North Carolina 1/31/200

Let's ask Merriam Webster’s to add brain fog to their 2013 dictionary, that is if I remember...

Games Medical Students Play

In previous posts, I showed you what hepatologists play and last week I showed you what is happening in the liver transplant surgeons’ break room. Not to be outdone, the medical students play Pictionary. It helps with all that anatomy they have to learn. Anyone want to take a guess at this picture?

Anyone want to take a guess at this picture?

More Liver Games

Last week I revealed the games that hepatologists play. This week I will tell you what liver transplant surgeons play—Liver Pursuit. Did you ever stop to think how Trivial Pursuit lends itself so perfectly to a liver theme? The science category and those liver-shaped wedges are so hepatic.

Games Hepatologists Play

Some people think that the medical system is just one big game. However, having worked in healthcare, I can tell you all about games hepatologists play:

Can you Scrabble players spot the cheater? Scrabble cheaters never prosper…

50 Shades of Jaundice

This year, my book Free from Hepatitis C was released. It has been doing well, but I think it would have done better if it had a catchier title. Here are some I wish I had thought of:

• 50 Shades of Jaundice
• The Joy of Sex before a Liver Transplant
• When You Are Expecting a Liver
• The Great Gall Bladder
• Moby Bile
• Brave New Liver
• The Gall of the Wild
• The Adventures of Hepatic Finn
• For Whom the Gall Tolls

Happy Liver Day

For a few years, I have been hoping that Liver Day would catch on. Labor Day sounds so arduous, hardly a day of rest and relaxation. Perhaps Liver Day doesn’t sound like much of an improvement, but imagine a day set aside to honor the liver. We can all wear yellow, which is very happy, sunny color. We can still spend the day with family members – it gives a completely new meaning to the concept of regeneration—instead of our liver regenerating (which it does on its own), we can spend time with the older and younger generations. We can serve hamburgers shaped like livers (sorry, but if liver and onions are served it will cause more regurgitation than regeneration). No alcohol of course. Perhaps lemonade or ginger ale since they are yellow. Any other ideas?

Old Man Liver

Last week I completely discredited myself with a tasteless rendition of Porky and Bile, so since I seem to be on a roll, I thought I’d take one of my favorite show tunes, and completely destroy it and any shred of credibility I have with the the hepatitis C community.

Old Man Liver (apologies to Oscar Hammerstein)

Old man liver,
That old man liver,
He must know something,
But don't say nothing,
He just keeps growing
He keeps on growing again.

He makes that bile,
He makes those hormones,
And when he’s tired
and soon forgotten,
That old man liver,
He just  keeps growing again.

Big old liver keeps fighting that booze.
He stores, he sweats, he strains,
Body all aching, and racked with pain.
Make that bile

Tote that hep C
Don’t get drunk
or you land in hospice

Old man liver,
That old man liver,
He must know something,
But don't say nothing,
He just keeps growing
He keeps on growing again.

I am just glad that Paul Robeson can’t read this from the grave…