The Hepatitis Comics: Levity for the Liver

You Are the Best, the Liver of My Liver

2012-01-28T14:07:00.000-08:00

According to Wikipedia, in Persian, Urdu, and Hindilanguages the liver (جگر or जिगर or jigar) symbolicallymay represent bravery, strong feelings, or "the best." So, if I wasPersian, instead of saying, “I saved you the best vegetables, the cream of thecrop,” I might say, “I have saved you the liver of vegetables,” which kind of soundsgross. Liver squash has an unappetizing connotation.

The term jan e jigar, is a term of endearment in Urdu.Translated, it means “the power of my liver." I can just see me whispering to myhusband, “You are the power of my liver.” Has a nice ring, doesn’t it?

Jigar is Persian slang is used to express desirability,especially when speaking about women. So, men, if you found a woman sexy, youmight say she is a liver lady. I doubt this will get you a date with anyone,unless they are liver geeks.

More Liver History

2012-01-21T12:23:00.000-08:00

The liver is mentioned in the sacred Jewish text, the Talmud. The liver is thought to store anger and thegallbladder counteracts the anger. This shows a fundamental lack of understandingabout the liver. Not only does the liver remain silent, the gall bladder is achronic complainer. In a relationship, the gall bladder would be like thequintessential stereotypical complaining wife; the liver would be thepassive-aggressive husband, baiting the wife to blow up.

Liver History

2012-01-14T16:14:00.000-08:00

The liver shows up in Greek mythology.Zeus was furious with Prometheus because he stole fireand gave it to humans. Zeus ordered Prometheus to be chained to a rock. Everyday an eagle would peck out his liver and it would regenerate overnight.

The ancient people of the Near East and Mediterranean areas used sheeplivers to tell fortunes, a practice known as haruspicy.Personally, I think palm reading isn’t as messy.

In the time of Plato, the liver was thought harbor dark emotions—rage,jealousy and greed. My goodness, everyone knows that the liver in anon-complaining organ.

A World of Liver Exploration

2012-01-07T13:06:00.000-08:00

I spent this past Christmas in the ancient Daintree Rainforestin the tropical northeast coast of Queensland, Australia. We went on a hike, guidedby a national treasure of a woman named Pru. She was a retired high school principaland now a steward of the rainforest. I guess she was in her 70’s.

Daintree is home to the endangered cassowary, a huge,flightless bird, that sort of looks like an emu with peacock coloring. Thereare only about a thousand left. What does this have to do with the liver, you mightbe wondering? Because Pru told me that the cassowary is very important to thesurvival of the rainforest because of its large and overactive liver. My earsperked up, astonished that the liver could come up in conversation in the mostancient rainforest in the world. From that moment on, I was consumed withinterest about the cassowary and its mega-juiced up liver. I wanted to stopright there and then and learn everything about this hepatic-wonder.

Oh the lovely cassowary,

its liver is worthy of inquiry.

The Liver on Holiday

2011-12-31T06:00:00.000-08:00

Patients often ask me if they can drink on New Year’s Eve,like the liver knows it is a holiday and it metabolizes everything differentthat day.

Happy New Year. May it be healthy, sober and fun.

Twas the Night before Christmas, with Apologies to Clement Moore

2011-12-24T06:00:00.000-08:00

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through thehospital,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a hepatologist.
The IV bags were hung by their poles with care,
In hopes that UNOS soon would be there.

The patients were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions from encephalopathy danced in their heads.
And ma in her bed, and I on the sofa,
Had just settled in for a long winter’s coma.

When out by the ER there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering heart I should see,
But a red cooler filled with possibility.

With a little old surgeon, so lively and wise,
I knew in a moment it must be Tom Starzl.
More rapid than eagles his livers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Leber, now Lunga, now Foie and Fegato,!
On, Kimo! On Gān Zānɡ! On Jigar and Higado!
To the top of the copter pad! To the top of the wall!
Now transplant! Transplant! Transplant away all!"

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the bellies, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Livers to all, and to all a good-night!"

Killing Me Slowly

2011-12-18T06:00:00.000-08:00

With all the holiday parties, I double my efforts to remindhepatitis C patients that alcohol is no friend of the liver. I mentioned to apatient that if he drinks with hepatitis C, alcohol will kill him slowly. He replied,“That’s fine – I am in no hurry.”

The Hilarious Liver

2011-12-11T06:00:00.000-08:00

I’ve been posting to this blog for more than two years.Recently I mentioned to a family member (and two-time kidney transplant recipient)that I didn’t think the blog was as funny now as it was initially. “There areonly so many funny things you can say about the liver and hepatitis,” I explained.“That’s weird,” she replied, “Because end-stage renal disease is hilarious.”(Actually, what she said was, “Because end-stage renal disease is hilaaaaaaaarious.”)

I think she was being sarcastic. Maybe the liver isintrinsically funnier than the kidneys.

This American Liver

2011-12-04T11:28:00.001-08:00

Last night I saw a performance of This American Life’s Ira Glass. If you don’t know this public radioshow, add it to your humor and healing regimen. It isn’t always funny, but itis always healing. There are many ways to listen to This American Life, including the radio, Internet, and pod-casts.

I must confess that I have two fantasies about This American Life. The first is that Iwill be on the show. It would be cool to see an hour of hepatitis C-related stories.Not so far-fetched because in addition to the millions of Americans with it,there are millions and millions of people who know us. You’d have to live inthe middle of nowhere to not be touched in some way by hepatitis C, although somemay not realize they have it or know someone that does.

My other fantasy is to have a radio show using the sameformat, called This American Liver. Thismight not play outside of Peoria, but I think I could come up with enough liverstories to fill a show. In fact, this week’s This American Life featured a story about goose livers. The rejectednames for the story were posted to Twitter: Liver Let Die, Dan and De Liver,Liver us from Evil.

Now we are talking my kind of language.

Marketing the Liver

2011-11-29T07:44:00.001-08:00

One of the criticisms of fast-food restaurants such asMcDonald’s, is the placement of toys in kid’s Happy Meals along with veryunhealthy food. McDonald’s has implemented changes, offering fruit instead offries, but I think they can make a huge impact on public awareness by offeringplastic livers, hearts, and other organs in place of the usual toy. Imaginereaching into a bag and seeing a gall bladder snuggling up to burger. It wouldcreate a “think before you eat” campaign and kids might learn about anatomy.

Liver News

2011-11-19T09:06:00.001-08:00

This morning while reading my local newspaper, I realizedthat there are columns for all sorts of interests, but not one column thatapplies to everyone. There is news, the bridge column, sports, ads, comics, thepolice blotter, opinions, etc. What is missing? The LIVER COLUMN! Everyone hasa liver – no one can live without one. Daily news about the liver can make forsome riveting reading.

Speaking of news, I amdelighted to announce the publication of my book, Free from Hepatitis C: Your Complete Guide to Healing Hepatitis C. Thebook is a practical manual written for patients. It describes treatment, andthen walks patients through it from beginning to end. My experience as apatient who underwent treatment provided extensive personal research. As anurse, I held the hands of many hepatitis C patients. My goal in writing thisbook was to hold as many more hands as I could through my words.

Free from Hepatitis C may be ordered through your local bookstoreand is available on Amazon.

Liver and Onions

2011-11-14T08:24:00.000-08:00

I called my parents and they were just sitting down to a dinner of liver and onions. Knowing what I know about the liver – that EVERYTHING goes through this organ – I was not enticed. They seemed to be quite excited to be eating this favorite food, so I didn’t want to ruin their appetites. However, it did occur to me that basically they were eating the filtration system of a cow’s power plant and sewage system. I love the liver, but not to eat!

The Liver Meeting

2011-11-04T11:49:00.000-07:00

At my Jazzercise class today, the instructor asked if anyone had any exciting plans for the weekend. My hand shot straight up, followed by my announcement that I am going to San Francisco for the annual Liver Meeting. No one looked remotely jealous that I was going to be immersed in the wonders of the liver, surrounded by hepatologists and other liver-aficionados. Call me a liver–geek, but I am excited.

Link to the Liver Meeting

Liver-O-Lanterns

2011-10-28T17:40:00.001-07:00

For Halloween, I am thinking about carving scary faces out of livers instead of pumpkins. If you saw a shriveled up liver looking like Dean Martin or Richard Burton, wouldn’t you think twice before taking a drink on Halloween?

Fall Colors

2011-10-22T09:47:00.000-07:00

It’s autumn and the leaves on the trees are turning colorsaround my home in the Sierra Foothills. I wonder if my biliary tree is changingcolors.

The Liver as a Tool

2011-10-13T09:35:00.000-07:00

The other day my husband was trying to operate somethingheavy. He asked me to help him, so I went into the house and got some chickenliver. He gave me a weird look when I handed it to him. Exasperated, he said,“I was looking for the lever, not the liver!” Time to get my hearing checked.

Humor and Health

2011-10-07T16:07:00.000-07:00

The healing properties of humor are well-documented. Infact, if I was a doctor responding to middle of the night phone calls, insteadof saying, “Take two aspirin and call me in the morning,” I’d say, “Call me inthe morning AFTER you have read the comic pages.” It’s a good thing I am not aphysician…

Courage

2011-10-01T09:01:00.000-07:00

According to Wikipedia, the word for liver (isibindi) meanscourage in the Zulu language. Thank goodness, Disney used Swahili rather thanZulu, or Simba might have been called Isibindi. I can just picture the snickersafter the word got out that The Lion King was really The Liver King.

Hepamonial Vows

2011-09-24T11:27:00.000-07:00

This weekend is my husband and my 30^th weddinganniversary. This means that my liver cells survived the many glasses of winethrough the courtship and honeymoon (pre-hep C). My marriage has survivedhepatitis C and its treatment. The side effects of treatment were a hugechallenge, and I suppose the fact that we are together provides testimony ofour commitment. They ought to include a clause about hepatitis C treatment withthe “in sickness and in health” vow, so people really know what they aregetting into.

I can just see it after the attorneys get a hold of thisidea—the hepamonial waiver.

Liver and Lymph

2011-09-17T16:00:00.000-07:00

The liver produces approximately one quart of lymph fluiddaily. That seems like a lot lymph fluid to me, although I can’t honestly saythat I have any idea of what lymph fluid looks like. In fact, I don’t think Ihave ever given lymph fluid much thought, although it doesn’t surprise me thatmy liver makes it. I think the liver does just about everything, and it couldprobably make a smoothie and a soufflé if called upon.

Protecting the Liver

2011-09-09T19:15:00.000-07:00

Football season officially began and I want to know ifplayers are protecting their livers. We all know about cups to protect thedelicate male anatomy, helmets for the heads, shoulder pads, and the like. Whatis protecting those livers? It is time for mandatory liver cups.

Next stop, pancreas protection.

The Liver Labor Union

2011-09-02T15:28:00.001-07:00

It is Labor Day weekend, a time to honor the labor force in the U.S. What better way to celebrate than with a three-day weekend. Thinking about this holiday, I pondered over all the work the liver does. This three-pound organ is like a factory, powering the body and producing critical elements to keep us healthy.

The liver can’t take the weekend off, because if it did, we’d be celebrating Labor Day from six feet underground. However, we can give the liver a break by keeping alcohol consumption to a level that the liver can handle. If you have hepatitis or another liver disease, this means no alcohol. Not much fun you say? Well cirrhosis isn’t exactly a picnic.

In honor of the labor the liver does, I propose we play some games. How about a rousing game of find-the-bile-duct, followed by three-livered races. We can end the evening with stargazing and hepatocyting. What a rousing end to summer! Now I can plan Halloween. Bobbing for gall bladders anyone?

A New Catch Word

2011-08-26T12:10:00.000-07:00

For those of you who are old enough to remember the program The Jeffersons (from the 1970’s), there was a character named JJ whose favorite expression was, “Dyno-MITE.” Given the huge prevalence of hepatitis C virus infection, I think we need a new expression, “Hepato-CYTE.” It rolls off the tongue. Just imagine, someone is talking to you about an idea that sounds good to you, and you exclaim, “Hepato-CYTE.” Sure, you will sound certifiably off your rocker, but think of the opportunity to educate people about their liver cells. Besides, how often does the word hepatocyte come up in daily conversation?

I think this idea is Hepato-CYTE.

A Dangerous Combo: Fatigue, a Foggy Brain and Being Blonde

2011-08-19T17:09:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been experiencing more fatigue and brain fog than usual. It is so tempting to blame it on hep C, but the moment I do, my mind is closed to other possibilities. One thing I know is this – I am less tired after a cup of coffee—if my liver was causing the fatigue, caffeine would not be enough to revitalize me.

When I am feeling sorry for myself, stumbling over my own self-pity, it’s not pretty. My husband spends more time puttering in the garage on those days.

I did go to the doctor. She ordered a sleep study. Looks like it might not be the hep C after all…

Bilious Rhyming

2011-08-13T16:21:00.000-07:00

I have no idea why I think of these things, but I thought it would be fun to list the words that rhyme with liver - that exercise led to this poem. I tried to include all the words on the list. (I took a little liberty with the last word). Can you think of any rhyming words I missed?

Biopsy

The doctor took a sliver of liver;
it felt like a river
and it made me quiver;
I am not much of a giver
when it comes to my liver;
niver again…

Hep Romance

2011-08-06T20:28:00.001-07:00

Living with hepatitis C is about as romantic as having eczema and gonorrhea. This is not the sort of disease you want to gush about on the first date. On the other hand, it isn’t cool to wait until you are discussing what you are going to have for breakfast. With millions of hep C positive people, you’d think it would be easy to find a partner with it, but that may be not be a good idea. Imagine two people with hepatitis C trying to get anything done? That could be a recipe for disaster.

World Hepatitis Day

2011-07-29T17:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was officially designated as World Hepatitis Day. I don’t think this attracted as much press as the World Cup, but it did have its moments. A concert held in New York featured the Allman Brothers. Natalie Cole, Phil Lesh, David Crosby and Graham Nash also sang. Gregg Allman, Lesh and Crosby received transplanted livers because of hepatitis C; Cole has hep C and received a kidney transplant. It was an all-star line-up of donated organs.

Given that the greatest prevalence of hepatitis C is among Baby Boomers, I imagine that there were a lot of people at the concert wearing jeans and tie-dye shirts. If I had attended, I think I would have worn liver colors—red and yellow. I would have worn a big hat, like the kind you see at Green Bay Packers games, although instead of cheese, the hat would be a giant liver. We had better wipe out this disease soon before I go off the deep end and start looking ridiculous.

Cirrhotic Humor

2011-07-22T14:23:00.000-07:00

This is my 91^st post to The Hepatitis Comics and it is time to stir the bile a bit. Jokes about the liver are harder to come by—you might say my hepatic humor is getting cirrhotic. I am a little tired of using medical humor when I can’t come up with a good, or at least a jaundiced, joke.

So, I decided to look at other blogs and websites that feature humorous articles written by people who are struggling with illness or disabilities. The first one that caught my eye is a blog called Smart Ass Cripple - expressing pain through sarcasm since 2010.

It is sarcastic; it is also brilliant, edgy, and funny. Clearly, the blogger is not wallowing in self-pity, although there is nothing wrong with a little unrestrained hopelessness from time-to-time. Anyway, although this is not liver-related, it gives me an idea of what a disease-oriented blog can do if one is clever. Check it out: http://smartasscripple.blogspot.com/

Humor for the Liver

2011-07-15T14:09:00.000-07:00

I may have a lot of gall using these vignettes from True Doctor Stories, but these are too funny to not use…

I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, “So, how's your breakfast this morning?” “It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste,” the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly." ~ Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI

Growing a Liver

2011-07-08T10:33:00.000-07:00

Scientists are trying to grow a human liver in a British laboratory. I can’t even grow flowers very well, so this is amazing. As worthy as growing a new liver is, I sure wish they’d also work on growing straight teeth, hair that doesn’t frizz, and breasts that don’t sag.

Celebrating the 4th of July

2011-07-02T17:17:00.000-07:00

It’s a typical Independence Day weekend here in Northern California. It’s hot and sunny. The watermelon and corn on the cob are in the fridge. There are plans to attend the parade, visit with friends and see the fireworks display.

My liver wants it’s own holiday—Liveration Day—a day to celebrate the liver’s independence from the gall bladder. It’ll be an alcohol-free event. Do you think this’ll catch on?